The Kingdom of Loathing
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Untradeable Items

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List of Untradeable Items
Any item that cannot be traded

  Item Name
"Humorous" T-shirt
1/6th Pound Cake
5-Alarm Saucepan
A Beginner's Guide to Charming Snakes (used)
A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 1 (used)
A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 2 (used)
A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 3 (used)
A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 4 (used)
A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 5 (used)
A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 6 (used)
A Guide to Safari
a suspicious address
A. W. O. L. commendation
abyssal battle plans
adorable seal larva
Adventurer bobblehead
aerated diving helmet
aerogel accordion
aerogel akubra
aerogel anvil
aerogel apron
aerogel ascot
aerogel attache case
aerosolized aerogel
Agent Mauve
alien plant fibers
alien plant sample
alien rock sample
alien source code printout (used)
alien toenails
alien zoological sample
All-Hallow's Steve's fright wig
all-year sucker
alpine watercolor set
Aluminum Epsilon of Humility
Amoon-Ra Cowtep's nemes
ancient oil painting of yourself
Ancient Saucehelm
Angelhair Culottes
anger blaster
annealed drippy orb
anniversary balsa wood socks
anniversary burlap belt
anniversary chutney sculpture
anniversary concrete fedora
anniversary gift box
Anniversary Miniature Sword & Martini Guy
anniversary pewter cape
anniversary safety glass vest
anniversary tiny latex mask
Antagonistic Snowman Kit
antique nutcracker beard
antique nutcracker boots
antique nutcracker cape
antique nutcracker drumstick
antique nutcracker epaulets
antique nutcracker hat
antique nutcracker pants
antique nutcracker sword
antique nutcracker waistcoat
archaeologing shovel
Argarggagarg's fang
around the world
artisanal homebrew gift package
artisanal homebrew sampler
Asdon Martin keyfob
Ass-Stompers of Violence
asteroid belt
astronaut ice-cream
augmented El Vibrato drone
Autobiography Of Dynamite Superman Jones (used)
Ax of L'rose
bacon bath ball
baconstone-handled sixgun
bad vibroknife
bad-ass club
badass belt
bagged stuffed "L"
bakelite backpack
bakelite badge
bakelite belt
bakelite bits
bakelite bowl
bakelite breeches
bakelite brooch
ballast turtle
balsam barrel
banana-frosted king cake
Bandolier of the Spaghetti Elemental
baneful bandolier
Banfoy's Boutique Order Form
bark beret
bark boxers
bark bracelet
barnacled barrel
Barney's rake
Baron von Ratsworth's money clip
Baron von Ratsworth's monocle
Baron von Ratsworth's tophat
Bash-Ōs boxtop
Bastille Battalion control rig
Bastille Battalion Fondue Trophy
bath ball gift set
batskin belt
battered old top-hat
battoo kit
bauxite beret
bauxite bow-tie
bauxite boxers
Beach Buck
Beach Comb
beer-scented teddy bear
Belt of Howling Anger
Belt of Loathing
belt of Ogrekind
bewitching boots
Big Candy's tophat
big glob of skin
big tun
Bigger Bugfinder Blade
biker's hat
bindle of joy
biomechanical crimborg helmet
biomechanical crimborg leg armor
Bird-a-Day calendar
bit of clingfilm
bitter bowtie
Bjorn's Hammer
Black Bart's Booty
black candygram
black slime glob
black velvet box
blank note
Bling of the New Wave
bloody kiwitini
blue class ring
Blue Diamond of Honesty
blue glowstick
blue LavaCo Lamp™
blue money bag
blue ribbon
blue traffic cone
blueberry-frosted king cake
Bodacious MechaElf Hunter Saga:Relay Wolf
body spradium
bomb of unknown origin
Bonerdagon necklace
Boots of Twilight Whispers
booze-soaked cherry
Boss Bat bling
Boss Bat britches
bottle of Goldschnöckered
bottle of goofballs
bounty-hunting helmet
bounty-hunting pants
bounty-hunting rifle
bowl of Bounty-Os
bowl of oriole's nest soup
bowl of petunias
bowl of topioca
box of Gratitude chocolates
box of sunshine
boxcar turtle
Brand of Violence
brass Dreadsylvanian flask
brazen bracelet
briefcase full of sprinkles
Brimstone Beret
Brimstone Bludgeon
Brimstone Boxers
Brimstone Bracelet
Brimstone Brooch
Brimstone Bunker
Brogre brolo shirt
Brogre brorts
Brogre bucket hat
broken El Vibrato drone
bucket of anniversary lard
buffalo dime
bugbear detector
Bugfinder Blade
bulky free-range mushroom
bundle of firewood
bunny liver
burnt snowpants
burrowgrub hive
burst hellseal brain
campfire baked potato
campfire beans
campfire coffee
campfire hot dog
campfire s'more
campfire smoke
campfire stew
carbonite visor
Cargo Cultist Shorts
Carpathian longsword
caustic slime nodule
Caveman Dan's favorite rock
Celsius 233 (singed)
Chalice of the Malkovich Prince
chalk chain
chalk chalice
chalk chapeau
chalk chinos
chalk chlamys
chalk choker
chalk chunks
cheap plastic kazoo
cheap toaster
cheap wind-up clock
cheer extractor
Chef Boy, R&D's business card
Chester's Aquarius medallion
Chester's bag of candy
Chester's cutoffs
Chester's moustache
Chester's muscle shirt
Chester's sunglasses
ChibiBuddy™ (on)
chocolate bath ball
chocolate box
chocolate puppy
chocolate-frosted king cake
Clan VIP Lounge key
Clara's bell
Claw of the Infernal Seal
clingfilm cap
clingfilm slippers
clingfilm tangle
clingfilm trousers
Cloak of Dire Shadows
club of corruption
club sandwich
coal paperweight
Codpiece of the Goblin King
coffee pixie stick
Colander of Em-er'il
Cold One
Cold Stone of Hatred
Comet Pop
comfy pillow
complex alien plant sample
complex alien zoological sample
complicated device
compounded experience
conquistador's breastplate
consolation ribbon
control crystal
cool iron breastplate
cool iron greaves
cool iron helmet
cop dollar
Copper Alpha of Sincerity
corned-beef Reuben
corroded breeches
corrosive cowl
corrupt club of corrupt corruption
corrupt club of corruption
Cosmic Calorie
cozy bazooka
cozy scimitar
crappy Mer-kin mask
crappy Mer-kin tailpiece
crate of fish meat
creepy-ass club
Crepes a la Lune
CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 1) (used)
CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 2) (used)
CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 3) (used)
CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 4) (used)
CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 5) (used)
CRIMBCO lanyard
Crimbo bottomless hot cocoa mug
Crimbo Credit
Crimbo Elf creepy bobble-head
Crimbo light-up Rudolph doll
Crimbo pressie
Crimbo stogie-scented room odorizer
Crimbo tree flocker
Crimbomination Contraption
Crimbot ROM: Mathematical Precision (dirty)
Crimbot ROM: Rapid Prototyping (dirty)
Crimbot ROM: Ruthless Efficiency (dirty)
Crimbot schematic: Data Analyzer
Crimbot schematic: Ribbon Manipulator
crotchety pants
crude oil congealer
crumbling rat skull
crumpled felt fedora
crushed steamer trunk
crusty hula hoop
cryptic puzzle box
crystal belt buckle
crystalline cheer
CSA fire-starting kit
cursed breeches
cursed cutlass
cursed eyepatch
cursed microwave
cursed pony keg
cursed ring finger ring
Daisy's unclean bloomers
damp old wallet
das boot
Deactivated MiniMechaElf
deactivated RoboGoose
Deck of Every Card
deck of lewd playing cards
delectable catalyst
deluxe Neverending Party favor
demon makeup kit
depleted uranium seal figurine
detective roscoe
detour shield
diabolic pizza cube
diabolical crossbow
Diamond HP-35 Calculator
dice belt buckle
dice ring
dice sunglasses
dice-print do-rag
dice-print pajama pants
dice-shaped backpack
Dickory Farms Gift Basket
dinged-up triangle
Dinsey face paint
Dinsey food-cone
Dinsey Whinskey
Dinsey's brain
Dinsey's glove
Dinsey's oculus
Dinsey's pants
Dinsey's pizza cutter
Dinsey's radar dish
dirty bottlecap
discarded button
Disco 'Fro Pick
Disco Banjo
Discount Telescope Warehouse gift certificate
disintegrating barrel
distention pill
doll-eye amulet
dollar sign
Dolph Bossin's charity note
double-ice box
double-ice britches
double-ice cap
doubt cannon
Dragonscale breastplate
dreadful box
dreadful fedora
dreadful glove
dreadful sweater
Dreadsylvania Auditor's badge
Dreadsylvanian clockwork key
Dreadsylvanian seed pod
Dreadsylvanian shepherd's pie
Dreadsylvanian stew
Drip harness
drippy diadem
drippy shield
drippy snail shell
dropped scrap of paper
Drowsy Sword
Drunkula's bell
Drunkula's cape
Drunkula's ring of haze
Drunkula's silky pants
Drunkula's wineglass
duct tape
duct tape buckler
duct tape dockers
duct tape fedora
duct tape shirt
duct tape sword
duct tape wallet
Duke Vampire's regal cloak
dungeon dragon chest
Dungeon Fist gauntlet
dusty animal skull
dusty barrel
dwarvish war helmet
dwarvish war kilt
dwarvish war mattock
easter egg balloon
eerily silent box
Eight Days a Week Pill Keeper
El Sombrero De Lopez
El Vibrato drone
El Vibrato energy spear
El Vibrato helmet
El Vibrato leg guards
El Vibrato Megadrone
El Vibrato restraints
El Vibrato translator
El Vibrato trapezoid
Elder Turtle Shell
eldritch tincture (depleted)
electrician's hardhat
Elizabeth's Dollie
Ellsbury's journal
Ellsbury's journal (used)
empty agua de vida bottle
empty Rain-Doh can
enchanted leopard-print barbell
enhanced signal receiver
ennui-flavored potato chips
envelope full of Meat
equal sign
Essence of Annoyance
Essence of Bear
etched hourglass
eternal car battery
evil-ass club
exactly-three-shaped box
exotic parrot egg
experimental carbon fiber pasta additive
exploding cigar
facsimile dictionary
fancy black tie
fancy chess set
Fancy Jeff's fancy pocket square
fancy party pants
fancy tophat
fancy tuxedo pants
FantasyRealm key
FantasyRealm Mage's Hat
FantasyRealm mead
FantasyRealm Rogue's Mask
FantasyRealm turkey leg
FantasyRealm Warrior's Helm
fascinating alien plant sample
fascinating alien zoological sample
fat loot token
FDKOL commendation
FDKOL tattoo
fear condenser
feathered headdress
festive sausage
festive warbear bank
fiberglass fannypack
fiberglass fedora
fiberglass fetish
fiberglass fibers
fiberglass fingerguard
fiberglass foil
fiberglass frock
Field Guide to Skeletal Anatomy (shredded)
figurine of a charred seal
figurine of a cold seal
figurine of a cute baby seal
figurine of a shadowy seal
figurine of a sleek seal
figurine of a slippery seal
figurine of a stinking seal
figurine of a wretched-looking seal
figurine of an ancient seal
figurine of an armored seal
filthy lucre
finger cuffs
First Post shirt - Cir Senam
fishy pipe
fistful of ashes
Flan in the Moon
flashing novelty button
fleshy lump
flickering pixel
flyest of shirts
foam commodore's hat
foam naval trousers
foot-long hot daub
foreign box
Former Sheriff Dan's tin star
fossilized necklace
Fourth of May Cosplay Saber
Freddy Kruegerand
free-range mushroom
French slippers
friendly cheez blob
frigid derringer
frigid-ass club
frost-rimed seal hide
Frosty's arm
Frosty's carrot
Frosty's iceball
Frosty's nailbat
Frosty's old silk hat
Frosty's snowball sack
Fudgie Roll
funny paper hat
fustulent seal grulch
fuzzy busby
fuzzy dice
fuzzy earmuffs
fuzzy montera
Fuzzy Slippers of Hatred
gabardine gaiters
gabardine garibaldi
gabardine garland
gabardine girdle
gabardine gloves
gabardine gunnysack
gabardine smithereens
Galapagosian Cuisses
Game Grid valued membership card
garbage sticker
Garland of Greatness
Garter of the Turtle Poacher
Gauntlets of the Blood Moon
gearbox necklace
General Assembly Module
genie bottle
genie's bracers
genie's pants
genie's scimitar
genie's turbane
ghost of a necklace
ghost pencil
ghost shawl
giant free-range mushroom
giant marshmallow
gin-soaked blotter paper
ginger beer
gingerbread gavel
gingerbread moneybag
gingerbread pistol
gingerbread tophat
gingerbread trousers
gingerbread waistcoat
Girdle of Hatred
Glass Balls of the Goblin King
glass eye
glass of raw eggs
glass slipper
Glenn's golden dice
gloomy black mushroom
glowing El Vibrato drone
Goggles of Loathing
gold wedding ring
Golden HP-35 Calculator
Golden Mr. Accessory
Golden Mr. Eh?
Goodfella contract
googly-ball hat
googly-heart hat
googly-star hat
gory drippy orb
government requisition form
government-issued eyeshade
government-issued necktie
government-issued slacks
Granny Hackleton's Gatling gun
Gravyskin Belt of the Sauceblob
grease cannon
Great S-Cape
Great Wolf's beastly trousers
Great Wolf's headband
Great Wolf's left paw
Great Wolf's lice
Great Wolf's right paw
Great Wolf's rocket launcher
Greaves of the Murk Lord
green candygram
green clay bead
Green Clover of Justice
green face paint
green glowstick
green LavaCo Lamp™
green slime glob
green traffic cone
grisly shield
grue egg
grue egg omelette
guild application
Guzzlr cocktail set
Guzzlr hat
Guzzlr pants
Guzzlr shoes
Guzzlr souvenir stein
Guzzlr tablet
Guzzlr tattoo kit
hair of the calf
hamethyst-handled sixgun
hand of Mr. Cards
hand-carved bokken
hand-carved bow
hand-carved staff
hand-knitted Crimbo socks
hand-knitted diving booties
handful of confetti
handful of juicy garbage
hangman's hood
hardened slime belt
hardened slime hat
hardened slime pants
hare pin
Hat O' Nine Tails
haunted bindle
hazardous sauce dosimeter
hazmat helmet
heart of dark chocolate
heart of the volcano
Heimandatz's heart
Helm of the Scream Emperor
hemlock helm
hewn moon-rune spoon
hi-density nylocite leg armor
high-end ginger wine
high-temperature mining drill
Hjodor's Guide to Arctic Dalmatians (used)
HOA citation pad
HOA regulation book
HOA zombie eyes
hobo code binder
hobo dungarees
hobo monkey
hobo nickel
hobo stogie
Hodgman's almanac
Hodgman's bow tie
Hodgman's cane
Hodgman's disgusting technicolor overcoat
Hodgman's garbage sticker
Hodgman's harmonica
Hodgman's imaginary hamster
Hodgman's lobsterskin pants
Hodgman's lucky sock
Hodgman's metal detector
Hodgman's porkpie hat
Hodgman's varcolac paw
Hodgman's whackin' stick
holiday cheese log
Holiday Hal's Happy-Time Fun Book!
homemade robot
honey dipper
honey mead
hot daub bun
hot daub stand
hot-ass club
house of twigs and spit
house-sized mushroom
How to Hold a Grudge
How to Tolerate Jerks
HP-35 Calculator
Huggler Radio
humming El Vibrato drone
hyperinflated seal lung
imbued seal-blubber candle
immense free-range mushroom
incense bath ball
industrial frosting
inert sludgepuppy
infinite BACON machine
inflatable baseball bat
ingot of seal-iron
Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration (crumpled)
Instant Karma
interesting clod of dirt
intricate clockwork big hand
intricate clockwork birdhouse
intricate clockwork cuckoo
intricate clockwork disc
intricate clockwork little hand
intricate clockwork numeral I
intricate clockwork numeral II
intricate clockwork numeral III
intricate clockwork numeral IV
intricate clockwork numeral IX
intricate clockwork numeral V
intricate clockwork numeral VI
intricate clockwork numeral VII
intricate clockwork numeral VIII
intricate clockwork numeral X
intricate clockwork numeral XI
intricate clockwork numeral XII
Iron Beta of Industry
Island Drinkin', a Tiki Mixology Odyssey
ittah bittah hookah
Iunion Crown
Jackass Plumber home game
January's Garbage Tote
jar of anniversary jam
Jeans of Loathing
jewelry-making pliers
jingle bell
Jocko Homo's head
Jodhpurs of Violence
Junior LAAAAME merit badge
kevlateflocite helmet
kill screen
KoL Con 12-gauge
KoL Con 8-Bit power bracelet
KoL Con Six Pack
KoL Con X Bingo Card
KoL Con X Treasure Map
Krakrox's Loincloth
Kramco Sausage-o-Matic™
Krampus Horn
Kremlin's Greatest Briefcase
L.I.M.P. Stock Certificate
La Hebilla del Cinturón de Lopez
labrador cookie
LARP membership card
laser cannon
laser targeting chip
latte lovers member's mug
Lavalos's shell
lavender candygram
Law of Averages
lawn dart
Lead Zeta of Chastity
Lederhosen of the Night
left bracket
left half of a heart necklace
left parenthesis
left-handed melodica
leggings of the Spider Queen
Lens of Hatred
Lens of Violence
less-than-three-shaped box
li'l ghost costume
Liam's mail
License to Chill
Lil' Doctor™ bag
little deuce cape
little firkin
little parachute guy
Living to Drink, Drinking to Live
Loathing Legion abacus
Loathing Legion can opener
Loathing Legion chainsaw
Loathing Legion corkscrew
Loathing Legion defibrillator
Loathing Legion double prism
Loathing Legion electric knife
Loathing Legion flamethrower
Loathing Legion hammer
Loathing Legion helicopter
Loathing Legion jackhammer
Loathing Legion kitchen sink
Loathing Legion many-purpose hook
Loathing Legion moondial
Loathing Legion necktie
Loathing Legion pizza stone
Loathing Legion rollerblades
Loathing Legion tape measure
Loathing Legion tattoo needle
Loathing Legion universal screwdriver
Lord Flameface's cloak
Lord Spookyraven's ear trumpet
lowercase a
lucky gold ring
lump of bauxite
lustrous drippy orb
LWA ring
LyleCo premium magnifying glass
LyleCo premium monocle
LyleCo premium pickaxe
LyleCo premium rope
macaroni duck
Mace of the Tortoise
magical mystery juice
magical sausage
magical sausage casing
magnetic field
makeshift castanets
malevolent medallion
Manual of Transcendent Olfaction
map to Dolph Bossin's hideout
Map to Kokomo
map to the Cursed Village
map to the Mystic Wood
map to the Putrid Swamp
map to the Sprawling Cemetery
map to the Towering Mountains
marble maebari
marble magnet
marble mantle
marble mariachi hat
marble medallion
marble mignonette bowl
marble molecules
marinara jug
Marquis de Poivre soda
Martialest Arts trophy
Marvelous Unitard
Master Thief's utility belt
mayfly bait necklace
Mayor Ghost's cloak
Mayor Ghost's gavel
Mayor Ghost's khakis
Mayor Ghost's sash
Mayor Ghost's scissors
Mayor Ghost's toupee
Medallion of the Ventrilo Prince
Medicinal Herb's medicinal herbs
memory of a C
memory of a CA base pair
memory of a CG base pair
memory of a CT base pair
memory of a G
memory of a GT base pair
memory of a T
memory of an A
memory of an AG base pair
memory of an AT base pair
memory of some delicious amino acids
Mer-kin darkbook
Mer-kin dodgeball
Mer-kin dragnet
Mer-kin facecowl
Mer-kin gladiator mask
Mer-kin gladiator tailpiece
Mer-kin headguard
Mer-kin knucklebone
Mer-kin scholar mask
Mer-kin scholar tailpiece
Mer-kin switchblade
Mer-kin thighguard
Mer-kin waistrope
Merc Core deployment orders
Meteoid ice beam
meteorite guard
meteorthopedic shoes
mime army camouflage kit
mime army challenge coin
mime army infiltration glove
mime army insignia (cryonics)
mime army insignia (espionage)
mime army insignia (infantry)
mime army insignia (intelligence)
mime army insignia (morale)
mime army insignia (psychological warfare)
mime army insignia (pyrotechnics)
mime army insignia (sanitation)
mime army rations
mime army shotglass
mime army superserum
mime army wine
mime pocket probe
mime-proof sunglasses
miming beret
miming boots
miming corduroys
miming gloves
miming shirt
miniature coffin
miniature deck cannon
Mint-in-box Moonthril Circlet
Mint-in-box Moonthril Cuirass
Mint-in-box Moonthril Flamberge
Mint-in-box Moonthril Greaves
Mint-in-box Moonthril Longbow
misshapen animal skeleton
Mob Penguin protection contract
moist barrel
moist sack
molten medallion
monstrous monocle
Moon Pie
moon-amber necklace
Moonthril Schnapps
mostly rat-hide leggings
motivational poster
mouldering barrel
Mr. Cheeng's spectacles
Mr. Exploiter
Mr. Screege's spectacles
Mt. Noob Pale Ale
mumming trunk
murderbot memory chip
Murgatroyd diode
musty moccasins
mutant arm
mutant crown
mutant legs
My First Art of War
myrrh-soaked, chocolate-covered bacon bath ball
mysterious silver lapel pin
nasty-ass club
nest egg
Neverending Party favor
newly-hatched mayonnaise wasp
Newman's Own Trousers
Nickel Gamma of Frugality
nicksilver ring
ninja pirate zombie robot
normal barrel
note from Clancy
Novelty Belt Buckle of Violence
novelty monorail ticket
nozzle of the Phoenix
obsidian dagger
odd silver coin
odor extractor
Official Council Aide Pin
Official Seal of Dreadsylvania
oily golden mushroom
Ol' Scratch's ash can
Ol' Scratch's infernal pitchfork
Ol' Scratch's manacles
Ol' Scratch's ol' britches
Ol' Scratch's stove door
Ol' Scratch's stovepipe hat
old patched suit-pants
old school flying disc
old soft shoes
old sweatpants
old-fashioned Crimbo Pressie
orange candygram
orange glowstick
orange slime glob
Orange Star of Sacrifice
orange traffic cone
Order of the Silver Wossname
Oreille Divisée brandy
ornamental sextant
ornate picture frame
Oscus's dumpster waders
Oscus's flypaper pants
Oscus's garbage can lid
Oscus's neverending soda
Oscus's pelt
outrageous sombrero
over-the-shoulder Folder Holder
overcharged El Vibrato power sphere
oxygenated eggnog helmet
oyster egg balloon
packet of beer seeds
packet of dragon's teeth
packet of mushroom spores
packet of orchid seeds
packet of pumpkin seeds
packet of tall grass seeds
packet of thanksgarden seeds
packet of winter seeds
Pan-Dimensional Gargle Blaster
Pantaloons of Hatred
paperclip cape
paperclip pants
paperclip sproinger
paperclip turban
paperclip-on tie
papier-mâché base
papier-mâché bowl
papier-mâché glob
papier-mâché handle
papier-mâché plaque
papier-mâché toothpicks
papier-mâché trophy piñata
papier-mâchine gun
paraffin palazzos
paraffin pendant
paraffin pieces
paraffin pith helmet
paraffin poncho
paraffin pseudoaccordion
paraffin punching bag
paranormal ricotta
party crasher
Party Planning on a Budget
party pup
Party Tattoo™ gift certificate
party whip
Pasta Spoon of Peril
Pecos Dave's sixgun
Pener's drumstick
peppermint harpoon gun
Peppermint Pip Packet
percent sign
perfectly fair coin
pernicious cudgel
phase-tuned shield generator belt
picture of you
pig-iron bracers
pig-iron helm
pig-iron shinguards
Pigsticker of Violence
pile of smoking rags
pile of useless robot parts
pink candygram
pink clay bead
pink glowstick
Pink Heart of Spirit
pint of sweat
pirate fork
pirate hook
pirate radio ring
PirateRealm party hat
piratical blunderbuss
pixel chain whip
pixel morning star
plain brown wrapper
plastic spider ring
plastic vampire fangs
Platinum HP-35 Calculator
plexifoam chin strap
plexiglass pants
plexiglass pendant
plexiglass pikestaff
plexiglass pinky ring
plexiglass pith helmet
plexiglass pocketwatch
plump free-range mushroom
Pocket Meteor Guide (well-thumbed)
Pocket Square of Loathing
polyester pad
polyester panama hat
polyester parachute
polyester peeler
polyester pettipants
polyester pulsera
polyesterene powder
polymorphic fastening apparatus
pompadour'd puppy
porcelain pelerine
porcelain pepper mill
porcelain phantom mask
porcelain plus-fours
porcelain police baton
porcelain porkpie
porcelain powder
pork elf goodies sack
porquoise-handled sixgun
portable pantogram
powdered sealbone
Powerful Glove
pregnant gloomy black mushroom
pregnant oily golden mushroom
pressurized potion of pneumaticity
propeller beanie
protonic accelerator pack
psychic's amulet
psychic's circlet
psychic's crystal ball
psychic's pslacks
psychoanalytic jar
punch-drunk punch
puppet strings
purple clay bead
purple glowstick
Purple Horseshoe of Honor
purpleheart "pants"
puzzling ribbon
quantum disintegrator pistol
Quartet of Flare Masters Jacket
quasi-ethereal macaroni fragments
quicksilver ring
radium-flavored potato chips
raffle prize box
raffle ticket
real cowboy hat
record of infuriating silence (used)
record of menacing silence (used)
record of tranquil silence (used)
recovered cufflinks
red and green rain stick
Red Balloon of Valor
red class ring
red face paint
red LavaCo Lamp™
red money bag
red plumber's boots
Red Roger tattoo kit
Red Roger's red left foot
Red Roger's red left hand
Red Roger's red right foot
Red Roger's red right hand
Red Roger's reliquary
Red Roger's skull
red traffic cone
red wagon
redwood rain stick
reflection of a map
refrigerated biohazard container
regret hose
reliable sixgun
repaired El Vibrato drone
replica bat-oomerang
rib of the Bonerdagon
rickety old unicycle
right half of a heart necklace
right parenthesis
ring of the Skeleton Lord
Rock and Roll Legend
ROM of Optimality
rope with some soap on it
rose-colored glasses
rotting barrel
Royal scepter
rubber baby doll
rusty chain necklace
rusty metal greaves
rxr shield
Saccharine Maple pendant
sack lunch
Safari Jack's moustache
saffron antaravasaka
saffron uttarasanga
Saison du Lune
sandwich of the gods
sausage golem
sawblade shield
Scalp of Gorgolok
Scepter of Loathing
scepter of the Skeleton Lord
Sceptre of the Torremolinos Prince
School of Hard Knocks Diploma
Science Notebook
scintillating powder
scrap of shadow
Scurvy and Sobriety Prevention
sea cape
sea mantle
sea shawl
sea-worn candlestick
seal lube
seal medal
seal-blubber candle
sealhide belt
sealhide buckler
sealhide cloak
sealhide gloves
sealhide hood
sealhide leggings
sealhide moccasins
sealhide seal doll
sealhide snare
sealhide whip
sealskin drum
secret from the future
Senior LAAAAME merit badge
serrated proboscis extension
set of Unobtainium straps
Seven Loco
severed flipper
sewing kit
shaking skull
shapeless wide-brimmed hat
sharpened hubcap
Shield of Icy Fate
shield of the Skeleton Lord
shimmering tendrils
shooting morning star
Shore Inc. Ship Trip Scrip
shredded hellseal hide
Shrub's Premium Baked Beans
sicksilver ring
signal receiver
silent nightlight
silicon-infused gluteal shield
silver cow creamer
silver Dreadsylvanian flask
Silver HP-35 Calculator
single atom
sinister demon mask
Size XI Wizard's Robe
sizzling seal fat
Skipper's accordion
skull capacitor
skull of the Bonerdagon
slicksilver ring
slime fedora
slime knuckles
slime waders
slime-covered club
slime-covered compass
slime-covered greaves
slime-covered helmet
slime-covered lantern
slime-covered necklace
slime-covered shovel
slime-covered speargun
slime-covered staff
slime-soaked brain
slime-soaked hypophysis
slime-soaked sweat gland
slippery when wet shield
slow jam collection
small golem
smoking talon
smoldering bagel punch
smoldering box
SMOOCH bracers
SMOOCH breastplate
SMOOCH codpiece
SMOOCH coffee cup
SMOOCH kneepads
SMOOCH spaulders
smooth velvet hanky
smooth velvet hat
smooth velvet pants
smooth velvet pocket square
smooth velvet shirt
smooth velvet socks
snake skin
snakeskin cowboy hat
snakeskin jacket
snakeskin thighboots
Sneaky Pete's leather jacket (collar popped)
sneaky wrapping paper
snow belly
snow hat
snow pants
solid asbestos box
solid chrome box
solid linoleum box
SongBoom™ BoomBox
sorority girl's box
soul monocle
Source shades
Source terminal CRAM chip
Source terminal DRAM chip
Source terminal GRAM chip
Source terminal PRAM chip
Source terminal SPAM chip
Source terminal TRAM chip
space beast fur hat
space beast fur pants
space beast fur whip
Space Trip safety headphones
space trooper helmet
Spacegate Research
spaghetti breakfast
Spaghetti with Moonballs
spaghetti-box banjo
spandex anniversary shorts
spant backplate
spant egg casing
spant shield
spant shoulderpads
spant spear
spare chocolate parts
spark plug earring
sparking El Vibrato drone
special edition Batfellow comic
spectre scepter
speed limit shield
Spelunker of Fortune (used)
Spelunker's fedora
Spelunker's khakis
Spelunker's whip
SpinMaster™ lathe
spinning wheel
spirit bell
sponge cake
Spooky Putty monster
Spookyraven signet
squirming Slime larva
squirmy violent party snack
Stabonic scroll
Staff of Blood and Pudding
Staff of Frozen Lard
Staff of Holiday Sensations
Staff of Kitchen Royalty
Staff of Simmering Hatred
Staff of the Black Kettle
Staff of the Cozy Fish
Staff of the Deepest Freeze
Staff of the Electric Range
Staff of the Grand Flambé
Staff of the Grease Trap
Staff of the Greasefire
Staff of the Kitchen Floor
Staff of the Midnight Snack
Staff of the November Jack-O-Lantern
Staff of the Peppermint Twist
Staff of the Roaring Hearth
Staff of the Scummy Sink
Staff of the Short Order Cook
Staff of the Soupbone
Staff of the Teapot Tempest
Staff of the Walk-In Freezer
Staff of the Well-Tempered Cauldron
stainless steel scarf
stainless steel shillelagh
stainless steel skullcap
stainless steel slacks
stainless steel solitaire
stainless steel suspenders
standards and practices guide
steel knuckles
Stephen's lab coat
Stick-Knife of Loathing
stinky fannypack
stop shield
stray chihuahua
streetfighting champion's belt
stuffed "L"
sucker bucket
sucker hakama
sucker kabuto
sucker tachi
sugar chapeau
sugar raygun
sugar shank
sugar shield
sugar shillelagh
sugar shirt
sugar shorts
sugar shotgun
super-sweet boom box
Superhero Reboots
sushi-rolling mat
suspicious-looking fedora
Sword of Dark Omens
Sword of Procedural Generation
Sword of the Brouhaha Prince
synthetic dog hair pill
tainted seal's blood
Tales of a Kansas Toymaker (used)
Tales of Dread
Tales of the Word Realms
talkative skull
talking spade
tattered paper crown
tempura air
terra cotta tambourine
terra cotta tidbits
terra cotta tie tack
terra cotta tongs
terra cotta train
terra cotta trousers
terra cotta truss
the Archwizard's briefs
The Art of Slapfighting (used)
The Big Book of Communism (used)
The Cocktail Shaker
The Crown of Ed the Undying
The Emperor's new hat
The Emperor's new pants
The Emperor's new shirt
The Eye of the Thing in the Basement
The Fingernail of the Thing in the Basement
The Ghoul King's ghoulottes
The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 1 (used)
The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 2 (used)
The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 3 (used)
The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 4 (used)
The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 5 (used)
The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 6 (used)
The Joy of Wassailing (used)
The Legendary Beat
the Ley Incursion's waist
The Mariachi's guitar case
The Necbromancer's Hat
The Necbromancer's Shorts
The Necbromancer's Stein
The Necbromancer's Wizard Staff
The Necbronomicon (used)
The One Mood Ring
The Sagittarian's leisure pants
The Six-Pack of Pain
The Spirit of Crimbo
The Spirit of Giving (used)
thicksilver ring
Thinknerd T-Shirt
Third Eye
Three Mile Island shorts
Thunkula's drinking cap
Thwaitgold amoeba statuette
Thwaitgold ant statuette
Thwaitgold bee statuette
Thwaitgold bombardier beetle statuette
Thwaitgold bookworm statuette
Thwaitgold bug statuette
Thwaitgold butterfly statuette
Thwaitgold buzzy beetle statuette
Thwaitgold caterpillar statuette
Thwaitgold chigger statuette
Thwaitgold cockroach statuette
Thwaitgold dragonfly statuette
Thwaitgold firefly statuette
Thwaitgold Goliath beetle statuette
Thwaitgold grasshopper statuette
Thwaitgold keyhole spider statuette
Thwaitgold maggot statuette
Thwaitgold masked hunter statuette
Thwaitgold metabug statuette
Thwaitgold mosquito statuette
Thwaitgold moth statuette
Thwaitgold nit statuette
Thwaitgold nymph statuette
Thwaitgold praying mantis statuette
Thwaitgold scarab beetle statuette
Thwaitgold scorpion statuette
Thwaitgold slug statuette
Thwaitgold spider statuette
Thwaitgold stag beetle statuette
Thwaitgold termite statuette
Thwaitgold time fly statuette
Thwaitgold wheel bug statuette
Thwaitgold woollybear statuette
Tickle-Me Emilio
ticksilver ring
tie-dyed fannypack
Time Bandit Badge of Courage
Time Juice
Time Lord Badge of Honor
time sleigh
tin star
tiny black hole
tiny frozen prehistoric meteorite jawbreaker
Toot Oriole care package
topiary necktie
topiary noseplugs
topiary skunk
topiary tights
torn hellseal sinew
toxic mop
toy sixgun
Treads of Loathing
Trivial Avocations board game
tropical Crimbo pressie
turtle pheromones
turtling rod
twice-haunted screwdriver
twitching trigger finger
Uncle Crimbo's hat
Uncle Crimbo's Sack
Uncle Hobo's belt
Uncle Hobo's epic beard
Uncle Hobo's fingerless tinsel gloves
Uncle Hobo's gift baggy pants
Uncle Hobo's highest bough
Uncle Hobo's stocking cap
Uncle Romulus (used)
Underworld acorn
Underworld trunk
unfinished ice sculpture
Unfortunato's foolscap
Unionize The Elves sign
Universal Seasoning
Unkillable Skeleton's breastplate
Unkillable Skeleton's restless leg
Unkillable Skeleton's sawsword
Unkillable Skeleton's shield
Unkillable Skeleton's shinguards
Unkillable Skeleton's skullcap
untamable turtle
unusual disco ball
Uranium Omega of Temperance
UV monocular
vampire glitter
vampyric cloake
vanilla-frosted king cake
vertebra of the Bonerdagon
very large caltrop
villainous scythe
Volartta's bellbottoms
wad of cotton
Wal-Mart gift certificate
Wal-Mart nametag
Wal-Mart overalls
Wal-Mart snowglobe
wand of fudge control
Wand of Oscus
wand of pigification
warbear battle greaves
warbear bearserker greaves
warbear breakfast machine
warbear ceremonial party pants
warbear electric long johns
warbear electric warscarf
warbear electro-spiked helm
warbear empathy chip (used)
warbear fancy fedora
warbear feathered fedora
warbear fleece-lined long johns
warbear fleece-lined warscarf
warbear goggles
warbear heated ushanka
warbear high festival pants
warbear hoverbelt
warbear laser bowtie
warbear lined ushanka
warbear long johns
warbear metalworking primer (used)
warbear nuclear bowtie
warbear officer greaves
warbear party pants
warbear plain fedora
warbear plain helm
warbear plain ushanka
warbear plasma bowtie
warbear polarized goggles
warbear snowblindness goggles
warbear soda machine
warbear spiked helm
warbear warscarf
warm El Vibrato drone
washboard shield
water-polo cap
water-polo mitt
wax face
wax hand
wax hat
wax pants
weathered barrel
weedy skirt
western-style skinning knife
white candygram
white class ring
White Dragon Fang
white Dreadsylvanian
white money bag
wicker clicker
wicker kickers
wicker knickers
wicker slicker
wicker sticker
wicker ticker
wicksilver ring
wild honey pie
willowy bonnet
wine-soaked bone chips
wintergreen-flavored potato chips
witch's bra
wolf whistle
world's most unappetizing beverage
wormwood wedding ring
worthless gewgaw
worthless knick-knack
worthless trinket
woven baling wire bracelets
Wrecked Generator
wrench bracelet
wriggling worm
wrought-iron flakes
wrought-iron waders
wrought-iron walker
wrought-iron whisk
wrought-iron widget
wrought-iron wig
wrought-iron winch crank
wumpus hair
wumpus-hair bolo
wumpus-hair loincloth
wumpus-hair net
wumpus-hair sweater
wumpus-hair whip
wumpus-hair wig
Xiblaxian 5D printer
Xiblaxian holo-wrist-puter
Xiblaxian residence-cube
Xiblaxian space-whiskey
Xiblaxian stealth cowl
Xiblaxian stealth trousers
Xiblaxian stealth vest
Xiblaxian ultraburrito
Xiblaxian xeno-detection goggles
Yakisoba's hat
yellow candygram
yellow glowstick
Yellow Moon of Compassion
yellow traffic cone
Yeti Protest Sign
yield shield
your own black heart
Zinc Delta of Tranquility
zombie accordion
zombie mariachi hat
zombie mariachi pants
Zombo's empty eye
Zombo's grievous greaves
Zombo's shield
Zombo's shoulder blade
Zombo's skull ring
Zombo's skullcap
Zu Mannkäse Dienen (used)
[glitch season reward name]